Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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