the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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