Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
