I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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