never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
