Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
