dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fuck appropriateness.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
