i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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