i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
