I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
