All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
