If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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