eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
