i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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