please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
