I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
