rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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