I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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