Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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