I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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