Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
