I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
