i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Everyone says I win the strip club
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
