Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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