i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
