Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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