all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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