As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
