i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize