I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My feet surprised me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
