Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
