I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
