Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
