What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
