I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
