At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
