Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
