i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The adults are the big ones right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
