he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
