"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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