Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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