every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
