she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he shaved USA in his pubs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
