So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
