i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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