how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
