You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
