The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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