You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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