hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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