Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
