he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
