oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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