i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
