uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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