Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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