ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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