Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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