My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
