I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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