Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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