so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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